So my last post was about saying it is OK – this parenting thing…I mean sometimes you can rock it, Instagram post’n’all and other days it is Facebook stalking in your front room while feeding the baby (heaven forbid that you are not gazing lovingly at your baby each and every time, the whole time, you are feeding them!).
But what about the times when it is actually really bad…and those parents who actually really struggle…like really can’t breathe struggle?
Most women do experience something that we know as ‘the baby blues’, which happens between five to 10 days after the birth. It’s really common to feel overwhelmed with everything that has just been experienced and everything that is now felt to be expected of you. Not only are you coping with more demands on your time and energy, but it is coming at a time when you are more exhausted than you ever knew you could be. For most mums this stage is just that, a stage, and is fairly manageable. I remember being so tearful about day 5 because I was finding that the most natural thing in the world did not seem to be coming naturally at all!
However, according to MIND, 10-15% of new mums develop a deeper depression known as Post Natal Depression (PND), usually about six-weeks post. And did you also know that PND can also be suffered by the new dad too? Recent research conducted by the NCT estimates that 1 in 3 new dads are concerned about their mental health and 1 in 10 new dads suffer from PND.
The actual experience is different for each person, but most commonly you can feel tearful, sad, low, disconnected, angry, guilty, indifferent to your child and/or partner, have disturbed sleep, no appetite or concentration. Lets be honest though, these words sometimes don’t mean a lot when you are trying to work out what the hell you are feeling.
So, I asked a friend of mine to share her experience of PND and this is her searingly honest account:
I am so proud of my friend for coming through one of the hardest fights of her life and regaining her joy in motherhood, so I want the takeaway from this epic post is that the most important thing that any new mum (or dad) can do if they should feel like this is to talk to their health visitor, GP, family and support network. They can help provide advice and support to ensure that the experienced is managed and the mum is supported on her journey to recovery. And what can we do, their support network? Be exactly that – there for them. Check in with them in the months after the baby arrives to see how they are doing and how they are feeling and allow them space to either talk things out or reach out for more help if they are struggling.
Find out more here:
The NHS Post Natal Depression Information
The Royal College of Psychiatrists Post Natal Depression Information
And MASSIVE thanks to one Vintage_Gem!
