Someone commented the other day that I must find it hard with my second. When I asked them what they meant, their reply was ‘Well, Fidget is just so much more hard work, so wild, compared to Wriggler.’
To be honest, I was a bit taken aback. One at the comparison (as we all compare, but we shouldn’t). And two – WILD?
To me WILD means an undisciplined child who doesn’t care about being told off or care about other children and the parents who don’t see anything through. Some parents pass this off and just claim that their child is spirited. There are spirited children, but they still have a healthy respect for their parents and rules, they might just do things a little differently.
This comment came from someone whose children can be hard work (her own words). Like, I take my hat off to her how she does it and on barely 5 hours sleep a night for the last couple of years. But why comment on Fidget like that, especially when I hadn’t asked for her input
So, to give the ‘feedback’ a chance I did consider things, am I viewing my child differently because they are my child, or is there something in what this person said?
Lets see: Fidget listens to me by either stopping the naughty thing he is about to do or cries because he knows he has done something bad. He is starting to understand when he is in trouble; he demonstrates that he knows he has done something wrong and will say sorry. Yes, he is 21 months…only so much can be expected of him and there are challenges that come with every stage, but in that context I don’t feel that WILD is the right label for him. He eats, sleeps, is caring and laughs a lot, so is a really sunny child.
If we are going to compare, he is busier than Wriggler, always on the go, but has recently found that painting with paint rather than eating it is really good fun, so will sit there a little bit. Wriggle is creative and careful, but is now finding the confidence to do more things physically and enjoying it.
So, I’m sticking to my gut feeling…that neither of my children are WILD, and I won’t worry about what other people might think.
The whole thing has made me wonder though – why do some people need to comment negatively on other people’s children when they aren’t perfect themselves? We all have private thoughts about things and sometimes might discuss it with our partner, but to comment negatively (especially without invitation) is a little mean, isn’t it? Perhaps it reflects more on where they are in their parenting and how their children behave than anything else.
And, forgive me if this post seems a tad smug – I’m honestly not – trust me, I worry about a few things for each of the boys and a few more things about how I parent – I wish I was better and suffer from mum guilt too. So, I do truly appreciate just how lucky I am that Wriggler and Fidget are lovely children (completely blind parent love going on here!)…
There must be something in the wotsits that I give them?!