The pressure to get it right and not pass on the ‘duck-ups’ from your childhood is immense and I swing between moments of ‘Halleluja’ I got that bit right, to ‘Holy Moly…that bombed’.
I cant help but reflect back on things in my childhood that weren’t easy and think now how when I see similar personality traits in my kids I hope that I can help them meet the same challenges, but in a better way than I did.
Wriggler is a wonderful little boy, so thoughtful and very kind. The flip side is that he is very sensitive…so I have to be careful when I discipline him and make sure he understand he is in trouble, without being too harsh as he will take it very seriously.
Fidget is cheeky and cheerful and likes to test the boundaries (what 21 month old doesn’t), and at the moment is starting to get tellings off, so I am more firm with him than I was with Wriggler, or even than I am with Wriggler now. Thankfully, he is starting to get that there are boundaries and hopefully learning that the affectionate hug that ends with a grab (read pinch) of skin at the end isn’t great.
But, like I wrote earlier, raising little people is hard, and harder still in the context of peer pressure (mummies and other kiddies) and against the background of your own childhood experiences.
Some people are lucky and have pretty happy-go-lucky upbringings, others come through really terrible things and then there are the rest of us. The ones that had a dodgy boyfriend that the parents hated, or were badly bullied at school, or just had a sadness for no reason that they carried with them.
Naturally, you want to protect your children, give them all the things you felt were lacking in your childhood, share with them the great memories that you created with your parents.
It is great if you can build a good support network of other parents so that you can share the good times and the bad. Check in on those times when you aren’t sure what to do (ignore them when they are laughing at your naughty child and you are trying to tell them off!). Seek support when other mummies make mean comments to you/your kids or about you. Share the great milestones and achievements and memories.
So, I just want to give a huge shout out to the mummy friends that we have all made -without them this journey is hard (raising little people is hard) and with them it is fun playdates, sharing sweeties and memories and wine. A lot of wine.