Apparently, as I was born after 1982, I am a Millennial; so it was with great interest that I read (yet another) Daily Mail article: ‘Young, highly educated and proud to be a housewife: The millennial mothers who are happy to put their family before their careers’.
You know what, these women make sense to me. I get what they were saying, as I have been trying to say it to my friends…those ones who don’t even ask me about me anymore…and who definitely don’t understand my choice (and my husband’s choice to support me) and how much happier we are with me as a wifey, SAHM and sometimes evening writer.
When it came to making a choice when we started our family, I found it much easier to sacrifice my working life and make those compromises than I expected, and than other people expected me to.
I actually find it frustrating that I have to justify myself that 99% of my time is given to my family and running our home and lives.
I left my national marketing manager role after Wriggler: there was no real way I could continue giving 110% to the job, on crazy hours in the city, and be the mum that I wanted to be. I took a local part time, low-level role after then, to bring in pocket money and just in case we didn’t get lucky with another child.
But Fidget did arrive and changed things again. My pocket money salary didn’t even cover childcare for two children…and I felt so dissatisfied with the work and how that I felt my children (and husband needed me more) so a really easy decision was made.
When I do anything I want it to be perfect, I give all I have and when I was working that was my job, I loved it and I worked hard to climb the ladder and hold a senior position. But I then apply the same to being a mum and I can’t separate two so that I can do both jobs well and in a way that I find satisfying.
With me not having a career, I can also be more supportive of my husband’s career now, rather than feeling like I have to keep up. A good example is set to my children in that I have worked hard, and that their Dad and I are a team and made a team decision for the family – hopefully, if they should ever settle down, their partner can be a career person or a homemaker and they will be a team.
I know some people would say that they are not a feminist then, if they are not trying to do it all…but I say I feel the point of the feminist movement was so that we could have a choice, and then have equal rights down that chosen path. If we want to work then we have the right to equal pay, equal benefits and equal opportunities. And if we want to be at home, then we have the right to CHOOSE that, and if a man chooses it then having a great male role model in the family is achieved too.
So, it is interesting that so many women, who have been driven to achieve so much career-wise, have chosen to make a different commitment for a while…especially at a time when statistics show that the number of women choosing to be be at home is in decline.
Personally, I love my wife life and my SAHM role and wouldn’t change a thing. But hats off to all of you who do both career and motherhood, or those that choose their career and no motherhood – without all us different types of women we wouldn’t be setting positive examples to the next generation and letting them know that they choose their own path to happiness.