It is amazing how every birth is so different – and this time was no exception. I was fully packed and prepared for the waiting, the not remembering quite how much it hurts and that I would end up in theatre again.
So yes, this time there was a lot of waiting. I was admitted on my due date for an induction…which got going, only for things to be slowed when there were no spaces on labour ward or in theatre to break my waters. Two more days passed, I was first on the list from the moment I had been admitted, and prepped for surgery just in case, but other cases jumped in before me.
Any lady who has been on an antenatal ward waiting for her waters to be broken knows how frustrating and mentally exhausting it is to see women be rushed to labour ward and you are still waiting…and waiting…and waiting.
Eventually, 63 hours after being admitted (and surviving on six hours of sleep), I finally had my waters broken. I started contracting quickly and Squish arrived an hour and 20 minutes after labour officially started.
And for the first time I didn’t pass out five minutes after the baby was delivered. And I only lost 300ml of blood (a vast improvement on my previous PPHs of 1l and 2l!). And the best bit – I didn’t retain the placenta!! So no theatre trip for me!
It was amazing to see what midwives actually do after the baby arrives…the checks they do on you and the baby and to actually talk to The Mr during the time they were doing these things. I have never been with it when they have weighed the baby – so it was really lovely actually seeing things like that!
I even enjoyed a cuppa tea and a biscuit once all the checks had been done before snoozing for a couple of hours sleep while the drip to make sure I didn’t haemorrhage worked its magic.
I was so upset and frustrated during the 63 hours I was waiting…mentally I was getting more worried about the forthcoming experience – I was anxious that I would be too exhausted to labour properly. And then when I was moved to the labour ward I found myself in the same room I had given birth to Wriggler in. Which gave me some scary flashbacks of how things had gone that time.
But I think fate had a plan. I was meant to end my birth experience in the place where the experience had started. And the wait meant that two amazing midwives were the ones delegated to care for me. Without their positivity, kind words and support the birth experience would have been overwhelming. They were amazing in trusting me and letting me trust my body, and I had the best birth experience of the three times I have done it.
I was lucky that again I delivered without pain relief – so the actual moment of birth was experienced just as I wanted to – it felt empowering and again I felt a real connection to my arrival of my baby.
Squish made her entrance with a wonderful crown of hair, barely a cry and her eyes wide open to take in her new world.
I know that not everyone has positive birth experiences, that some need surgery or pain relief when that wasn’t their plan or they can feel disconnected from things…but what I hope that any reader takes from this is that each experience is difference. That your past does not mean it will always be the same again. With the right team of caretakers it can be something that can reflected on in its on right.
And no matter how your baby makes their entrance – I hope that they arrive safely for snuggles with their mumma.