So you got the nice big positive and are safely into the second or third trimester…and it might be the time to think about finding out about this ‘having a baby lark’ and maybe meet some other freshers along the way.
Now, I did the NHS – Antenatal Course and would recommend them, but it is personal experience and my midwife who led the classes was great; but I didn’t meet any other parents-to-be there. I know some people do NCT – Antenatal Course, if you have the money and the time then it might be for you. Those I know who have done NCT have mixed reviews, but it is can be a good place to meet others…
Being honest I was pretty happy doing my own thing at first…I mean I read a few books and heavily used Google for a while, but in regards to actually talking to other new mums…I was pretty chilled about how, when and where. I liked just a bit of me and Wriggler time, it was summer and to be honest, I can be quiet when I first meet people that I just needed to find my own feet as a mum.
But I know so many other mums who need to be out and about ASAP – meeting other mums and sharing what they are going through as it happens…it can be so reassuring to know you are not the only one who saw their baby every 45 seconds the night before (or at least what felt like it). And that poo is meant to be that colour. That week 6 can be hell but something clicks in week 7.
For me, I look back on the first 12 weeks of having a baby and think it is like a very long hangover. Weird right?
I mean, it was a good hangover in that you are on an emotional high…I was lucky and fell in love with Wriggler and Fidget straight away, but I know that this isn’t always the case. So that carried me through a lot. And the Mr was super-supportive which was reassuring when you look at your naked body for the first time after giving birth and literally think ‘WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!’.
And that is the hangover part – the bit that thinks…what the hell did I do? What have I said to someone cos I can’t remember conversations…did I use my resting bitch face too much today and everything thinks I am super moody and where the ‘duckety duck’ did I put my keys (cos ‘apparently’ this parenting thing means you aren’t supposed to swear anymore).
At about 4/5 months post I did get out there and actually held conversations with women (whose names I didn’t know but I could tell you all about their baby) and funnily enough even made some life-long friends, but it takes time.
Honestly, this whole adulting and parenting malarkey is so much harder than anything I have even done…but it is about a billion times more rewarding.
So on those days where you want to sit the bubs on the play mat, have that kilo bar of chocolate, the dishes are sky high and you are still in your pjs – and you think, “This isn’t what I thought it would be”, fear not – you are not alone. Tomorrow you can get out there, do that coffee date, but honestly just take it one day at a time – you will be fine.